Family

I have a random rant.  Well, it is more me getting something that has been bothering me off of my chest, but it could end up being a rant.

As I stated in a few previous blogs, my Aunt Karen passed away on May 2nd, 2011 (R.I.P. I love you).  Upon her passing, my younger cousin and I found a copy of her will and in it, she left me all of her worldly possessions.  For those of you that knew my Aunt Karen know that this means she left me a LOT of stuff because she was a hoarder.  But the biggest thing that she left behind was a house.

Since the day that the will was found, things have changed.  My family was growing closer and I was finally developing the relationship with relatives that I had been hoping to have for many years.  The progress that we had made in trusting one another and confiding in each other has gone out the window.  Why?  All because of my Aunt Karen's wishes.  Since then, I have never felt so much hate, hostility and bitterness towards me ever in my life.  I love my family, and I HATE that they have so much hatred for me right now.

I understand that they are hurt, probably even offended.  Why was it left to me?  I don't know, ask Aunt Karen.  Why didn't she name anyone else in her will?  Again, I don't know, only she did.

I think that what bothers me the most, more than anything else is that people are failing to look at one big aspect of the situation.  Want to know what that is?

NOT ONCE has ANYONE asked me how I feel about it.  They only care about themselves and how it makes them feel.  Did I ASK for all of this? No.  Did I want any of this to happen?  NO.

The truth of the matter is, I didn't want any of this.  I had no control over what Aunt Karen did, I only have control over how I react to it.  Am I honored that she thought so highly of me that she thought to leave me everything?  Yes, I am.  I would be lying if I ever tried to claim that I wasn't.  I loved my aunt and I still do.  There isn't a day that goes by that I don't miss her.  I can't bring myself to delete her phone number out of my cell phone.  But just because Aunt Karen's wishes were what they were does NOT mean that I should lose other family members.

I guess what I am trying to say with all of this is simple.  IT'S NOT MY FAULT.  I did not CHOOSE to take on this load.  I just bought a house of my own and dealing with that by myself is hard enough, do you think that I was ready to take on the responsibility of another house?  I am not being a bitch about things either.  I wanted my whole family to work together to get things in order, but obviously that will never happen.  I am being pushied by the people that I love the most for a choice that was made withought any of us knowing when I was 13 years old.

That's all :)

30 Day Challenge????

Happy Friday!  And BOY am I happy that it is Friday...This has been a long week!

So I am officially 2 weeks into my own made up P90X/Insanity Hybrid and let me tell you...WOW!  I absolutely LOVE it!  I push myself a lot, and granted Insanity is pretty damn tough, but I am able to do more and more every time!  I will share my Fit Test results once I do the second one...The first results are pretty pathetic..haha

I love the fact that I am seeing results already...2 weeks in!  My tummy has flattened and I am FINALLY getting rid of those love handles that us ladies hate oh so much.  Plus, my little bitty biceps are growing at a rapid pace...My Dad actually asked me to flex last night and he was impressed!

So anywho, the purpose of this post is to discuss Chalene Johnson's 30 Day Challenge.  If you have not done it yet, DO IT!  It has changed my life and I am only on day 10!  I don't want to give too much away because I want YOU do to it, don't just piggyback on me :)  She teaches that it takes 21 days to form a habit, whether it be good or bad.  And make a To Do list daily!  Put it somewhere accessible (pull out those iPhones, Droids, Blackberries, or whatever you have, there are free apps for this!) and check it ALL THE TIME.  Make one for the day, then the week, then the month, then the YEAR.  Without a To Do list you are far less likely to reach your goals...and we all want to reach our goals right?

So every Friday in this challenge we are to list our 10 goals, and our 1 Push Goal.  For shiggles, I decided to post my 10 goals from today here for you all to see (what I want to accomplish in the next year)...HOLD ME ACCOUNTABLE PEOPLE!!!  I can't do it without you!

My Push Goal:  Pay off my debt!
1.  Pay off all of my credit cards.
2.  Become an EMERALD coach (Nicole Morse, we can do this!)
3.  Make more time for ME
4.  Create a budget...and stick to it!  (No more living paycheck to paycheck!)
5.  Go on a weekend getaway every other month.
6.  Pass the GMAT!
7.  Get into grad school at RMU (can you say propelling my business???)
8.  Spend more time with my "family" (I put family in " " because I consider family to be blood and those that I CONSIDER family...aka my friends)
9.  Get to my new target weight of 120!
10. Become more active in the National Kidney Foundation in the honor and memory of my Aunt Karen.

Ok Guys!  Your turn!  Email me YOUR 10 goals...Tell me what YOU want to achieve over the next week...month...year...5 years...10 years...Then sit back and think about how you can reach them...How I can help you reach them!

xoxo

"My philosophy is that not only are you responsible for your life, but doing the best at this moment puts you in the best place for the next moment." ~Oprah Winfrey