Hello? Is this thing on?

Hello everyone!  I hope that you all had a fabulous week and holiday.  I know that I promised blog entries while I was away but I had NO Wi-Fi access and my cell phone BARELY had reception.  I missed you all dearly, but I do have to say that it was kind of nice to take a break from the world.  It gave me time to reflect and think about everything that has happened over the past few months.  I have been going NON-STOP since April and a lot of huge changes happened in my life.  Now the reality is starting to sink in and I have realized just how much my life has changed.  Some of the changes were terrible, heartbreaking changes...But others were positive, happy changes!  Everything balances out :)

Let's start with the bad.  I know that I have touched on this in past entries, but it has finally sunk in.  My Aunt Karen is gone.  I think that I had accepted it on the outside, but never in my heart.  It finally hit me, and it hit me hard.  I will never get another completely pointless phone call, no more stories about the chicken, no more stories about Trix and Mariah her birds, no more of her criticizing me for things I don't do, but secretly praising me and telling everyone how great I am.  No more holidays with her in her PJ pants, and calling not-it in regards to who had to pick her up and take her home.  No more her keeping secrets about her health, but complaining about everyone else.  I have a few regrets..I left town when she needed me, I didn't visit her in her last hours, and I didn't tell her that I loved her nearly enough.  But I know that she knew...she knew that I would drop everything if she needed me.  She knew that she could count on me and my parents even if we yelled at her when she did stupid things.  She knew that she had a family that she could count on in hard times even if we didn't always talk or keep in touch.  She faced life with so much determination and spunk, never letting anyone tell her that she couldn't do something.  I admire her for everything that went through and everything that she did...she was a strong lady, a fiesty lady..And I miss her more and more every day.  I know that it will get easier as time passes by...but life has finally slowed down enough for me to look back on everything and realize that yes, it is real...and yes, she is gone.  RIP Aunt Karen..I love you.

Ok, I will let you throw your tissue away...I know I have to!

Now for the happy things!  I am finally starting to get myself back on track with Beachbody!  I am not going to lie, I definitely fell off of the work out and diet wagon...But not anymore!  I am ready to kick my own butt back into gear and really work hard!  I have goals...we all do...but I will not reach them just sitting around coming up with lame excuses!  I hurt my knee last Tuesday at the beach...but today I am going to work out and modify if I need to.  Also, I am going to start really working hard on my work out room because I finally got permission from the executor of my Aunt's estate to start cleaning out the house.  That means I will be getting my TV and DVD player soon!  YAY!

So, that was just a catch up on what has been going on in my head the past week or so...there is a LOT more, but if I share it all now, what will I blog about later???  Also, keep your eyes open for a new video blog within the next couple of days!

xoxo

The Kidney Walk

This year I will be participating in The Kidney Walk in Pittsburgh.  It is on November 6, 2011 at the Pittsburgh Zoo.  Now, some of you may be wondering why I am walking...

On March 20, 1977, my Aunt Karen received a kidney transplant. On May 2, 2011, 34 years, 1 month, and 12 days later, she left this life to move on to a better place. She led a very difficult life, but she fought and defied all odds until the very end. I am walking to honor her memory, and recognize her life. Without that transplant, I would have never gotten the chance to meet Aunt Karen, let alone spend 26 and a half years getting to know her. She was a very special lady, and a huge part of my life.  I miss her more and more every day, but I know that she is watching over me with my Gram and Pap.

Now, her passing was not due to her kidney.  It was due to an abscess tooth infection that she let go for far too long.  She would still be here if not for the infection, which is what makes it that much harder.

But anywho...I am walking to raise awareness and money for the National Kidney Foundation.  My aunt was one of the longest survivng recipients of a kidney transplant. 

Please, either donate a few dollars to help me reach my personal goal of $200, or sign up and walk with us on November 6, 2011 at the Pittsburgh Zoo.  Every little bit helps raise awareness and funds for the NKF.

Please help me honor the memory and the life of my Aunt Karen...I love you and miss you...

R.I.P.

Karen A. Maher

1/2/1957 - 5/2/2011

God saw you getting tired

and a cure was not to be.

So He put His arms around you

and whispered “come to me.”

With tearful eyes we watched you,

and saw you pass away.

Although we loved you dearly,

we could not make you stay.

A golden heart stopped beating,

hard working hands at rest.

God broke our hearts to prove to us,

He only takes the best.

Some things are never easy...

Well, I know that it has been a few days, but this has been the longest week of my life.

I spent an awesome weekend in Chicago with two of the most wonderful ladies...and we had a blast!  But my life forever changed about halfway between Chicago and Pittsburgh on Monday.  I lost a large part of my life.  My Aunt Karen passed away.

She was taken to the hospital last Tuesday because of an infection...She had an abscess tooth that she let go for far too long.  Aunt Karen was in poor health to begin with, so the infection was a lot worse for her than it would have been for you and me.  They operated on Thursday night, and she went into cardiac arrest on Friday morning.  My parents didn't tell me because they wanted me to enjoy my weekend way with my friends.  She was breathing through a tube and having a really rough time.

The weekend was long for Aunt Karen, but she was a fighter...she had a long, tough life in fact.  She had Turner's Syndrome, and we just found out.

When she passed, my Mom, Dad, and Aunt Lynnie were with her.  Aunt Karen knew that it was her time to go...she defied all odds her whole life and she is in a much better place now.  She is with her Mom and Dad, her Aunt, and most of all, her best friend Norma Jean.

Aunt Karen, I may not have said it enough, or even showed it...But you are one of the bravest, toughest, most amazing women that I have ever and will ever know.  You showed me that no matter what life throws at you, you can enjoy your life.  I wish that I would have seen you in the last couple of days of your life, but you know how well I deal with hospitals.  I will love you forever...and I will never, ever forget you.

Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep

Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glint on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.

When you wake in the morning hush,
I am the swift, uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circling flight.
I am the soft starlight at night.

Do not stand at my grave and weep.
I am not there, I do not sleep.
Do not stand at my grave and cry.
I am not there, I did not die!

- Mary Frye